Yogi Musings

This is something that I've been thinking about for a while...and the irony (or hypocracy) of how I live my life, and how I aspire to live my life struck me as I was sitting in the bathtub in a hotel "up the hill" last weekend.

For Babe's birthday, we got a room for a couple nights in a little gambling town and since it was the first time in a while that we were absolutely alone--no kids, no friends, no family..just US we decided to do it up right.  Needless to say, we lost a ton of money, drank a lot of alcohol, ate like shit (but it was delicious!) and didn't workout.

In the midst of my hangover (and you know after a 2-day bender, they suck ass) I decided to let Babe sleep and I figured I'd take a bath.  Since I finished my book the day before, I grabbed the most recent issue of Yoga Journal to flip through while I relaxed in the tub.

Now, I'm not a hard core yoga chick--I love doing yoga, but it's not like I visit a studio or anything--heck I do my yoga in my classroom using this website.  I do, however really enjoy it...I've gotten stronger, I think my posture is better, and it really is relaxing.  What I don't do is really buy into all the "feel the pulse of the universe through the soles of your feet" stuff.  The instructors that teach the classes I enjoy do throw some of the yogi-mystical-eastern stuff into their teaching, but most of the time their advice is sound: listen to your body, don't do anything that makes you hurt or feel uncomfortable, and live in the now.  I think we could all do that...

Anyway, back to the point.  There I was, feeling absolutely crappy, soaking in the tub (which I'm sure used gallons upon gallons of water) reading this magazine which is all about pure, healthy living.  The polar opposite-ness of it all hit me hard.  I would LOVE to detox my body: quit drinking alcohol, quit eating refined sugar, quit eating red meat (or most meat altogether), quit staying up until crazy hours, etc.

But. (There's always as but, right?)

I adore a juicy hamburger.
I love unwinding with a glass or wine or celebrating with my posse with a shot or something.
I treat myself with decadent spoonful or two of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food.
I stay up late with Babe some rights because it's the only time of the day where we get to be alone and have some grown up time.

Am I a bad person because I flat out admit that I enjoy some things that are bad for me and I have neither the willpower nor the desire to eliminate them from my life?  Or, am I doing okay because while I recognize that I have some unhealthy habits, I strive to live my life as healthy as I can?

I dunno...but I'll keep searching.