I try to not do blog posts that piggyback on each other...I like to believe myself to be delightfully random and quirky. However, I just can't NOT write this one.
My mother-fucking knee is seriously jacked up. Like, seriously. I went into my surgery last week with cartilage, albeit gnarly cartilage, in my knee and I came out with it all sucked out. Turns out I dislocated my kneecap last February and it sheared all of it off, hence all the crunchy sounds when I walked. Oh, I had a small meniscus tear too, but that was secondary to the other crap.
So, my doc fixed the tear, took all the shit that was floating around my knee out, and stitched me up, and promised my husband that he and I (the doc...) would have spend some quality-time together in a month or so.
Side note: My knee-guy? Hot. Really, really hot. Anyone watch Bones? He looks like a skinnier "Wendell". Pair that with the fact that he's smart and athletic. H.O.T.
So, while he said that my knee was "better" it wasn't "fixed" and "walking up and down stairs, as well as down inclines would be really, really painful." Um. My classroom is on the second floor of the building. Yeah, something tells me I'm going to want to fix it sooner rather than later.
My surgery will resurface my knee with plastic and metal and I should be better. Yay. I'll post info when I get it.
However, everyone keeps telling me that I need to give soccer up. It sucks because despite the fact that The Beautiful Game and I have had a very spotty and tumultuous relationship the past few years--having kids and fucking up an ankle that requires 4 surgeries will do that--however, I was getting back into it, then THE KNEE happened.
I do other sports. I swim. I bike. I do yoga. I play volleyball. I enjoy all of those things, but nothing compares to the feeling I get from kicking someone's ass on the field.
How am I going to move past it? I was able to get through my (long) absences from the sport because the possibility of coming back was always there, but that door might be irrevocably closed. What do I do? I've known A TON of people that have had to quit completely, and they do so and never look back...I just never thought I'd be one of them.
Am I still me if I no longer play?
My mother-fucking knee is seriously jacked up. Like, seriously. I went into my surgery last week with cartilage, albeit gnarly cartilage, in my knee and I came out with it all sucked out. Turns out I dislocated my kneecap last February and it sheared all of it off, hence all the crunchy sounds when I walked. Oh, I had a small meniscus tear too, but that was secondary to the other crap.
So, my doc fixed the tear, took all the shit that was floating around my knee out, and stitched me up, and promised my husband that he and I (the doc...) would have spend some quality-time together in a month or so.
Side note: My knee-guy? Hot. Really, really hot. Anyone watch Bones? He looks like a skinnier "Wendell". Pair that with the fact that he's smart and athletic. H.O.T.
So, while he said that my knee was "better" it wasn't "fixed" and "walking up and down stairs, as well as down inclines would be really, really painful." Um. My classroom is on the second floor of the building. Yeah, something tells me I'm going to want to fix it sooner rather than later.
My surgery will resurface my knee with plastic and metal and I should be better. Yay. I'll post info when I get it.
However, everyone keeps telling me that I need to give soccer up. It sucks because despite the fact that The Beautiful Game and I have had a very spotty and tumultuous relationship the past few years--having kids and fucking up an ankle that requires 4 surgeries will do that--however, I was getting back into it, then THE KNEE happened.
I do other sports. I swim. I bike. I do yoga. I play volleyball. I enjoy all of those things, but nothing compares to the feeling I get from kicking someone's ass on the field.
How am I going to move past it? I was able to get through my (long) absences from the sport because the possibility of coming back was always there, but that door might be irrevocably closed. What do I do? I've known A TON of people that have had to quit completely, and they do so and never look back...I just never thought I'd be one of them.
Am I still me if I no longer play?
Having to face giving up something so important to you is so hard. I hope the resurfacing surgery will allow you to continue to play! <3 If you do have to stop playing, maybe you can stay involved in the sport through coaching?
ReplyDeleteAside: Surely there's an elevator you could use at school. There has to be, right? For accessibility purposes? I happened to stumble across the one at my high school tucked around a little-used corner one day. That was in a dinky school in a dinky town in the mid 90's.
Thanks for the love...I'm sure I'll have opportunities to coach and whatnot with the kidlets. :)
ReplyDeleteWe do have an elevator at my school...but it takes FOR.EVER. and it's on the other side of the building and I don't have the patience for it. lol.